From the heART: getting to know me

Is blogging about yourself anything like laughing at your own jokes?

I’m one of those people who, when I come to a stop sign at the same time as another person, always waves the other person through and waits stubbornly until they obey. You could say this makes me a giver, or you could say this makes me a pushover–either way the point is that I tend to bend for others.

This morning though, when I came to a stop sign, something told me to just go. I didn’t wait, didn’t hesitate, think and second-guess–just went. Now this may not seem like a very big deal, but for me this sense of inner-strength was liberating. It wasn’t an epic realization by any means–no light-bulb epiphany–but it reminded me that sometimes what’s most important is simply doing me. Which is precisely what this is all about right now: me.

I’m not entirely sure what the accepted definition of artist is today (someone who draws? Does photography? Makes less than enough money to eat and survives solely on paint-fumes and dreams?), but regardless of the technicalities, one thing I know for sure is that I love art. I love the inspirational, warm fuzzies I get inside when looking at it; I love the texture of the canvas, the weight of the brush in my hand; I love the rewarding feeling I get when looking at a completed piece. The truth, though, is that other than a few dabbles in self-endeavors and a previous drawing class, the painting class I’m currently in constitutes as my artistic experience. To me none of this matters though, because what I have is a deep respect and appreciation for the idea of starting with nothing but raw materials, manipulating them–experiencing them–trying (making mistakes, destroying, crying), trying again, and finally coming out with a finished product that reflects a thought in your head, or a feeling in your heart–It’s like you are God. 

Truly though, I just really like releasing myself creatively, and benefiting from its cathartic effects. So I’m putting myself out there, and showing you my first finished project of the semester. I leave out finished because–as one very wise artist once told me–a piece is never really ever done.

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Here’s my painting up in the hallway in Church Fine Arts at UNR. Let’s start with the obvious: I love Christopher Walken. Can you say celebrity crush? This was my first attempt at acrylic paint, and the canvas is self-made (that last bit can be read in a tone of slightly smug). The assignment was to practice blocking and layers, rather than blending, but I really liked the abstract effect, so I was glad with that.

bloggThe Walken head on: *swoon* As I said, the piece is almost finished, and after a few adjustments to the eyes, I will be entirely satisfied–that’s hard to say too, because when it comes to my character, self-critical would be one of the first words I used in describing me. My favorite thing about the project was how much of a learning process this was–not only artistically, but internally as well. It challenged me to push outside of my comfort zone, try something new, take risks (cry when those risks turned out totally wrong), practice patience, and accept that at the end of it all, I’m capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for. That’s what this post is about though: to show you that I am credible, and that I too am willing to put myself out there, with the hope that people appreciate what I do as much as I appreciate the work I review as well. 

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